True story: nothing about Emperor Baby Fists’ inauguration made it to the cover of this week’s People Magazine. I suspect that People Mag listened to the criticism they got immediately following the election (they were criticized for normalizing Baby Fists) and decided to back away from any kind of glowing coverage. Which left a void that Us Weekly is trying to fill. Last week’s Us Weekly cover was Ivanka Trump trying to soften her image and send the signal that she’s there to humanize her petty, despotic father. Now Us Weekly is going all-in with this week’s cover of all of the Familia de Baby Fists. Hey, if they okay’d an exclusive photoshoot with Barron Trump for the cover of a gossip magazine, surely it’s okay to say “hey, there’s Barron Trump, he looks bored” on social media, right? Here are some terrible poop nuggets from Us Weekly’s cover exclusive:
Tiffany Trump is frugal. A friend says: “When staying at a Trump hotel, she’s careful not to go overboard on room service. I’ve heard her say, ‘I’m lucky to have a room here!’” She’s also excited to have all of her dumb, rich friends over to the White House so they can party.
Ivanka will always be daddy’s favorite. Even her brothers refer to her as “Daddy’s little girl.” That makes me want to barf.
Donald Jr. is “quite the ski buff.” Don took a year off after graduating from Georgetown and he spent the year bumming around Aspen.
Don’t make me write anything more, please. These people are as tacky as can be. Stop trying to humanize this family, Us Weekly. They only went to you because People Magazine was like “no thanks.”
— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) January 22, 2017
— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) January 24, 2017